Acts 29
1. AND IT CAME TO PASS, when Paul was in Corinth, he and certain disciples came upon a mob that was stoning an organist.
2. And Paul said unto them, “What then hath he done unto thee that his head should be bruised?”
3. And the people cried with one voice, “He hath played too loud!
4. Yea, in the singing of the psalms, he maketh our heads to ring as if they were beaten with hammers.
5. Behold, he sitteth up high in the loft, and mighty are the pipes and mighty is the noise thereof, and though there be few of us below, he none the less playeth with all the stops, the Assyrian trumpet stop and the stop of the ram’s horn and the stop that soundeth like the sawing of stone, and we cannot hear the words that cometh out of our own mouths.
6. He always tosseth in variations that confuse us mightily and he playeth loud and discordant and always in a militant tempo, so that we have not time to breathe as we sing.
7. Lo, he is a plague upon the faith and should be chastised.”
Paul, hearing this, had himself picked up a small stone, and was about to cast it, but he set it down, and bade the organist come forward.
8. He was a narrow man, sallow of complexion, with dry skin, flaking and thin of hair.
9. And Paul said unto him, “Why hath thou so abused thy brethren?”
10. And the organist replied, “I could not hear them singing from where I sat, and therefore played the louder so as to encourage them.”
11. And Paul turned round to the mob and said loudly, “Let him who has never played an organ cast the first stone.”
12. And they cast stones for a while until their arms were tired and Paul bade the organist repent and he did.
13. And Paul said unto him, “Thou shalt take up the flute and play it for thirty days, to cleanse thy spirit,” and afterward they returned to Corinth and sang psalms unaccompanied and then had coffee and were refreshed in the faith.
The previous extra-biblical literature was passed on to me a few years back. I am unsure of who to credit for it, though I have seen it attributed to Garrison Keillor. Despite the humor, there are some lessons for organists hidden in there.
No related posts.
My wife, a church musician, and I found this humorous. Yes, there are lessons for organists hidden in the piece.
But, there is a lesson for the congregation as well. There are a lot of times when I stop singing for one reason or another, or my wife isn’t present – and she sings loudly – that the congregation can somehow read a rubric of “whisper” into the hymnal. Of course, we’re talking about Lutherans here – those who prefer to sit while singing “Stand up, stand up for Jesus!” Go figure!
God bless!
We all have to get over ourselves, I suppose, pew-people and organbench-people alike.
I try not to be their enemy, and try to remember the church we all attend already has a preacher, and doesn’t need one sitting at–and preaching from–the organbench. Indeed, that would call for the casting of stones. Or hymnals, maybe?